How to be anti racist and an ally for people of color, a question that many people have been asking themselves the last couple of weeks. With the public lynching of George Floyd over a week ago, it seems that the whole world woke up and sees what a lot of people already knew.
People of color and especially black people, are facing a lot of mistreatment in the US.
As a woman of color, this is not something new.
Growing up with my skin color dealing with racism has been part of my upbringing.
You learn how to deal with racism, microaggressions, and fear all the time. You have talks that you always need to work harder, be smarter, and be more careful because you are black.
These are the talks I got as a girl; I was so ignorant that I never even realized how much harder it must have been for my younger brother.
If your parents don’t give you that talk at home at an early age, society will catch up with them and show their ugliness and prejudice sooner or later.
I did not grow up in the US; I grew up in the Netherlands in its capital Amsterdam. I can make a whole series about the racism I have encountered growing up there, especially the microaggressions.
Still a lot of people in my home country claim to be anti-racist and an ally to people of color which is not always the case
I have always been the “you are pretty for a black girl” girl, or “you sound so Dutch” girl or “I don’t like black people only you, I mean you are black, but you are one of us” or like “you are really the voorbeeld allochtoon” (example minority).
The most frustrating part of it all is the fact that most people had a hard time acknowledging my pain. It is not even the words that were painful; it is that people could not bring up the empathy to see that their actions were not okay.
If I corrected them, it turned into severe arguments, and they would label me as the angry black woman. Or I would get “you people always feel so attacked and left behind.”
The most common answer I would get that it is all a joke and that I should have thicker skin.
Or this: “If you don’t like it, go back to your own country” ( I was born and raised in the Netherlands, and my parents were born as Dutch citizens as well). As a result I have been silent and maybe I have been silent for too long. I would only have these conversations with people that looked like me or with people that I knew would understand me.
These are just a few quick examples. I don’t want to look back too much; I would like to move forward. If I can use my experiences and voice to help and educate others, I will.
I, as a POC, am still learning, and sharing knowledge is how we all will be better in tackling this problem. We all need to learn how to be anti racist and an ally.
In the past few weeks, I have seen many people waking up. Many people are looking into their behavior and how they can do better.
The protests that started in the US reached different countries, and in solidarity, people began to protest there as well. In Amsterdam, the city I was born and raised in, it resulted in a massive protest for black lives matter on the Dam square.
The protests across the US also resulted in the officers involved in George Floyd’s death being arrested and charged. Different US cities and states are looking into policies to improve their police departments.
Even in the darkest hours, something meaningful can happen. Many people are starting to become aware of all the brutality that has been going on for decades. More and more people are learning how to be anti racist and how to be an ally in this battle. It just breaks my heart that so many black lives were lost before we got to this point.
In the past weeks, I have seen the word ally a lot.
And I am happy seeing people with different backgrounds using their voices.
But I would also like to address that posting a black square on your Instagram or using the hashtag blacklivematters is not enough. I appreciate the gesture, but we need to do more.
Being an ally means that you need to be Anti-racist! It means that you need to have uncomfortable conversations. Uncomfortable conversations at home, with your family, with your friends and I promise you this, you will get resistance.
These conversations are not only necessary for my nonblack friends; I believe that black people need to have those conversations as well.
If there is something I even as POC have learned these past few weeks is that we all have some hard work to do!
It all starts with educating yourself. I’ve gathered some book titles, to help you how to be anti racist and an ally. There are many resources but I figured this is a good start
Books about anti-racism:
So you want to talk about race – Ijeoma Oluo.
Stamped – Jason Reynolds and Ibram X Kendi.
Eloquent Rage – Brittney Cooper.
They were her property – Stephanie E Jones- Rogers.
Me and my white supremacy – Layla F Saad.
White fragility – Robin DiAngelo.
Books about anti-racism for children:
Woke baby – Mahagony Browne
The undefeated – Kwame Alexander
Not my idea: A book about whiteness – Anastasia Higginbotham
Films and documentaries to watch:
American Son (Netflix)
Burning Sands (Netflix)
Dear White People (Netflix)
When they see us (Netflix)
The Kalief Browder story (netflix)
13th (netflix)
The innocence files (netflix)
Trigger Warning with Killer Mike
Becoming (netflix)
Who killed Malcolm X (netflix)
Education is a start. After soaking up all this information, there is still more work to be done.
Look around you and ask yourself how diverse is my environment? Do all the people I hang out with look like me?
If you own a company or you have a job with a decision making function try to make your work environment more inclusive as well.
If you are a parent, teach your children about different skin colors, make sure their little libraries are diverse. Teach your children about equality. Make sure that they have a diverse group of friends. Have those conversations.
My oldest is five years old, and she started to notice that we all had different skin tones when she was as young as three years old.
She is fortunate enough to grow up in a very multiracial family.
This post is not to give people white guilt or to attack them. I wanted to use my voice and help with creating awareness.
As I mentioned before, I am also still learning.
And I have been part of the problem because I have been silent for a very long time.
I promised myself that I would not be silent anymore.
If you have any suggestions or comments, please feel free to reach out to me.
Let’s all try to create a better future.
Thank you for reading!
